Parenting Ideas
To further support the Scotch community the College has subscribed to Parentingideas, a leading provider of parenting education resources to Australian schools.
One of their latest articles is entitled- Team Sports.
Also available is the Parenting Ideas Magazine; visit the following link:
www.parentingideas.com.au/Parents/Parenting-Magazine
Student Wellbeing: Mental Health - What's the Problem ?
Walking through the school grounds you see smiling faces, boys letting out their bottled-up boy energy, larking about, kicking a ball, reading, munching their carefully prepared lunches, chatting in groups or sometimes sitting silently, happily bunched over their laptops. Mental health? What's the problem? It looks like most of the boys are coping well, thriving even, most of the time. Well, they are… most of them, most of the time.
Yet we know that youth mental health in general is in poor shape. Nearly one in five 13-17 year olds have a mental health problem and this rises to over one in four between ages 18 and 24. Ironically for a generation sometimes referred to as the 'tribal generation' because of technology's gift of constant social connection, loneliness and depression are increasing.
The word 'mental' still carries residues of stigma so it should be stressed that having mental health problems is not a decision but an affliction, like measles or a broken toe. It refers to a person's emotional and social wellbeing. When his mental health declines it can affect his feelings, thoughts and actions, spilling over into day-to-day life and participation in school, work and relationships. Psychology pioneer Carl Jung wrote that 'about a third of my cases are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and emptiness of their lives'. This is certainly no less true today.
Mental health problems, mostly understandable reactions to personal and social issues, aren't usually too extreme or long-lasting. But when they persist and start affecting everyday life severely - when it's becoming an illness - it's time for early help (your GP is a great place to start).
Parents, of course, are crucial in identifying this transition point. Ideally, a parent is a boy's mental health coach … helping him find the right words to express his feelings, helping him 'regulate his emotions' when he gets too angry or sad.
Promoting good mental health involves keeping the communication lines open, hard as that can be sometimes, especially in middle adolescence! Be available without being pushy and let him know you love him. He may not always admit it, but this is likely to be very important to him. Pick your time. Boys tend to talk more when they're busy doing other things or don't have to look you in the eye, like driving in the car or washing dishes together.
About one in five experiences a depressive episode by the end of year 12. Many more will suffer from high levels of symptoms that don't meet the diagnostic criteria for Clinical Anxiety or Clinical Depression, but that certainly interfere with their academic achievements and how they get on with other people. Depression is bad for many reasons, apart from the fact that it feels awful. We know that depressed adolescents are less competent academically, at greater risk of being suspended, expelled or dropping out, and more likely than their peers to abuse drugs and alcohol. And we know that major depression is the strongest predictor of suicide for this age group.
This is a tough call, but give your son lots of reasons to want to be like you. Be the model not only for the balanced and happy of life you would like your son to have, but also for the way you'd like him to behave, ideally being compassionate to others, developing grit and perseverance, having the courage to have a go even if it means making mistakes, and bouncing back after disappointments. You have a marvellous opportunity but awesome responsibility to inspire him to live well.
Headspace is a youth-focused mental health service for young people aged 12-25. Eheadspace provides online counselling and telephone support; https://www.eheadspace.org.au/ or 1800 650 890.
Shauna Lipscombe
Senior School Psychologist
