HEAD OF SENIOR SCHOOL
Dr Rob McEwan
Has your son done something that seems out of character? Have you ever asked yourself, "What was he thinking?" This is normal. Celia Lashlie, a social researcher and presenter at last week's Scotch College parent information night, described adolescent boys as being between two gates, one childhood the other manhood. Our challenge as parents and educators is that the distance between the gates is wide, as much as ten years. One day your son is offering a mature and considered opinion, the next he hasn't thought beyond the immediate and is acting like … well, a young boy.
While we know that the frontal lobe, the section of the brain that performs executive functions such as recognizing future consequences from current behaviour, is still 'under construction' for boys well into their twenties, there is another factor at play, that of groups. Celia described one boy - one brain, two boys - half a brain. Think back to a time when your son did something that seemed out of character, was he part of a group? Psychologists describe this phenomenon as group shift - the tendency for behaviour to be exaggerated in groups. We understand the factors that influence behaviour in groups but what Celia left us thinking about was the impulsive nature of many of our boys' decisions. She described how so many decision made by adolescent boys are made in thirty-second moments and yet the consequences are significant and potentially long-term. For example, running an orange traffic light or a physical response to a verbal provocation.
There is no doubt that an impulsive decision can bring with it significant, long term consequences, but what does this mean for us as parents and teachers? Celia's message was clear. Let our boys make decisions and let them learn from the consequences. If we make decisions for our boys, rush to their defense or perform tasks that they are more than capable of doing themselves, we have denied them the opportunity to learn. Far more important to learn the consequences of impulsive and group decisions now while they have their parents and teachers to act as safety nets than to learn these lessons later in life. If your son receives a detention for not making a commitment, not wearing the correct uniform or he loses marks for handing an assignment in late, seize the opportunity to teach him the consequences for his decisions. Not to teach the lessons of accountability and responsibility is to not prepare our boys for life.
Dr Rob McEwan
Head of Senior School
